Depression

I am no where near being any kind of health professional so, what I will be writing is my own personal experiences and what I have done to help get on the road to healing. I was planning on blogging something else this week (maybe I’ll still get to it) but in light of the death of Robin Williams, the “depression” subject (I know, everyone seems to be sharing something about him and/or depression) has been weighing on me and I felt impressed to share what I have learned.

I finally came to terms that I dealt with depression about 9 or 10 years ago.  When I finally started seeking help that’s when I realized I had dealt with it off and on since I was a teenager.  Not to the extent as it was just some years ago, but I believe it was the start of it.  It had made married life harder than married life already is.  I know my husband wondered what he had married many times in our marriage.  We had been married over six years by the time I realized I had a problem and started going to a homeopathic Dr., what she gave me helped a bit but talking with friends that dealt with it, I think, made more of the difference.  It helped me understand it better and that I wasn’t alone.  Getting my husband to understand it was even harder, he wanted me to just “snap out of it”.  If you deal with depression you know that isn’t possible.  Within months of me getting help we were talking with a good friend one time who didn’t deal with depression himself, but was surrounded by it with family.  He said something that both made my husband and I understand that it was something very real that I was dealing with, he said “Telling a depressed person to ‘snap out of it’ is like telling a person having a heart attack to ‘snap out of it’, they physically cannot do it”. That was so perfect and my husband has since been a lot more understanding and helpful.  It’s still been a struggle, but we get though it.

I was reading a blog post yesterday on someones thoughts about depression.  One thing he mentioned was that depression is a spiritual issue.  Ok, I can see where for some people that might be the case, but I’ve been a Christian my whole life.  I already had God and His Spirit in my life yet for weeks on end I felt like I lost Gods trust in me.  I prayed, read my scriptures, went to church every Sunday, and did all I was supposed to be doing, yet I felt like God deserted me, I couldn’t feel His presence at all.  It was horrible.  I soon learned that depressed people can get so sick that they cannot feel Gods Spirit.  That made me feel so less horrible, I wasn’t a bad person!!!  I was just sick!  It still took awhile to get out of it, but knowing I was just sick gave me hope.  It definitely helped.

As time went on we moved from Washington State to California.  Having the sun out more often helped for awhile, but then it all came back.  I had since quite my homeopathic pills and decided I needed to see a Dr. for meds.  I did and was on meds for a year or so.  It helped but I never felt 100% right.  It was like the meds were just hiding my symptoms, not getting rid of them, which was exactly right.  I stopped taking meds when I got pregnant with cub #5 and I haven’t taken any since.  It’s definitely not been easy, but I have learned to handle it.  I could always tell that what I ate had an effect on my depression but it was hard to stay eating healthy for some reason, or what my version of healthy was.

In the past year, and especially the past few months, I have been slowly changing eating habits and what we are eating.  Boy, have I seen the biggest difference there!  Sugar is one of the worst things ever for depression!!  I love this post from Sarah at The Healthy Home Economist.  The sugar part was something I already knew and believed in, but sometimes it’s hard to stay away from sugar, especially when you are craving it.  But by upping my healthy fat intake, well, what a difference that has made!!  Yes, I still have bouts with depression, but they haven’t been as bad.  Another plus is by upping my healthy fat intake I am less hungry and I’m not craving sugar!!  I never thought I would ever find something that could help cure that, but I did AND in a super healthy way.  That’s always a plus!!  I truly feel that there is a possibility that I could someday be healed from depression by eating healthy, real whole foods.  It will take quite awhile, but if I can keep it up things can only get better. 🙂